Esme's Horrible Fate
by Esme Brie
Summary: Esme is attacked in her home while her family is out of town. But who's there to comfort her when she needs it the most?
1. Chapter 1

It was going to be a long weekend. Edward and Bella were taking Renesme to go fishing with Charlie, and then they were going away together. Somewhere romantic. I don't think either of them knew exactly where they were going, but they were being spontaneous. Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper were all going up to Alaska to go hunting together. And Carlisle had a doctors convention he was going to where his presence was required. That leaves me. The kids offered for me to accompany them on there trip, but as quiet as it would be around the house I was actually looking forward to spending a few days alone. So I told them not to worry about me and to go and have fun. I whisked them out of the house and smiled as they began to run through the woods all the way to Alaska. Alice offered one last comforting smile and wave as she ran off with the others. She now officially had the entire house to herself for at least 48 hours. It was nice at first. Peaceful and relaxing. She worked on her garden, cleaned the house from top to bottom while humming to herself, after she finished cleaning she took a long, quiet bubble bath. It's been wonderful, but after she got dressed and perfected herself she realized she needed something else to do. Something to keep her busy for the next two days. She's not used to NEVER having anything to do. She's always looking after the kids, or doing research for Carlisle, or cleaning the house. But what needs to be done now? She finished everything that would have kept her busy all weekend if her kids were here. I guess I could read, she thought. But she's read every book in the house more than once. Even Carlisle's medical encyclopedias. Oh well. You can never be too smart. She picked up a thick book and began to read. As the hours passed, it turned into nightfall. But Esme didn't seem to notice. She wasn't even really reading. It was more like her eyes were reading, but her brain had wandered somewhere and she was almost completely zoned out. She was turning the pages but didn't realize. It wasn't until she heard a loud crash that she was snapped out of her thoughts. She looked around, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She didn't smell any humans around, an she always smelt the scent of vampires. Often she couldn't tell one from the other because they were so close they blended together. She got up anyway to walk around. After all she had been sitting there 'reading' for quite some time. She went to mark her page in the book, but didn't bother because she barely remembered any if it and would probably end up starting over anyway. She walked down the stairs and towards the front door. She didn't seen anyone, or hear anything. Something probably just fell. Probably some of Rosalie's tools in the garage. So Esme ventured toward the garage door and opened it expecting to see tools scattered on the floor, but to her surprise there was nothing. It did surprise her to see the the garage doors were completely open. She could have sworn she shut them after the kids left. This made her feel a bit uneasy. She cautiously shut the big doors and then locked the door she had entered threw and walked back into the main floor of the house. She looked out the window, looking for the slightest sign of the presence of someone other then herself. But there wasn't, all she could see was the wind blowing through the trees harshly, and the lightning that outlined the dark clouds in the sky every few seconds. There was gonna be a storm. A big storm. She sighed, knowing all the work she had just put into her garden would go to waste. But none the less went back to doing what she was doing earlier. Absolutely nothing. A few more hours passed, before the power went out. It was now almost pitch black in the empty house. Esme managed to stumble to the kitchen, light some candles and put them all around the house. At least before the power went out she had light. Now there was really nothing for her to do. The minutes that passed felt like hours and before she knew it, she had started singing to herself. No one really knew this about her, but she had a lovely voice. So when she would sing she would actually enjoy the sound if it. She knew Rosalie didn't like to admit it but could also sing very well. She often heard her singing to herself while walking around the house, in the shower, or usually whenever she was doing something to occupy herself and wasn't aware she was singing. Esme smiled at the thought if Rosalie happy. It had taken a LONG time to help her heal from the pain that Royce King and his friends put her through in just one night. No one deserves to be treated like that. When Rose was first turned it was made very clear in various occasions that she was unhappy with her new life and would have rather been left to die. She had been so bitter and almost never had a complete conversation with anyone in the house that didn't end in verbal or physical violence. But after Emmett, Esme could tell she was getting better. That the hole in her heart had been repaired and that she finally had a chance of happiness. She was glad that Rosalie had the chance if having the love that her and Carlisle shared. True passionate love. Thank god all of her children knew the feeling she did of knowing your always going to be able to be with the person you love and know they love you back. As deep into her thoughts as she was, again she was snapped right out of them by the sound if her cellphone ringing. It was Carlisle's ringtone. She answered already knowing why he was calling. He always called her whenever he was away just to make sure she was safely home for the night. She answered with a smile.

Esme: Hello

Carlisle: Hello darling. How are you doing?

Esme: I've had a lovely evening so far. It's so quiet without the kids here, but believe it or not I've already run out of things to do.

She heard Carlisle snicker to himself.

Carlisle: Sweetheart why didn't you go hunting with them?

Esme: I wanted them to have some bonding time without feeling like I'm forcing them.

Carlisle: Is that code for 'I really just wanted some alone time' ?

Esme: Well it has been nice.

Carlisle laughed.

Carlisle: I know it has. Well, my meeting is about to start. I have to go, but your inside for the night?

Esme: Yes I am. No go to your meeting and don't worry about me.

Carlisle: Your sure? Just remember I can be home in the blink of an eye if you need anything. I'm just a phone call away.

Esme: I know. Ill call you if I need something. Okay? But you be careful. I love you.

Carlisle: I love you too. Be safe.

Esme: I will. Bye.

Carlisle: Bye.

She hung up the phone, unknowingly smiling I herself. How had she been so lucky? She still couldn't believe she of all people got her fairy tale ending. She put her cellphone in her bedside table as she changed into her pajamas. The power had just come back on. She decided to watch a few movies to help pass the time. She went into her bathroom and shut the door as she changed into her silk lavender nightgown along with the matching robe and slippers. She couldn't help but notice how adorable she looked in her big fuzzy light purple slippers. But they always made her smile. They made her feel like a kid again. It had only taken her maybe 10 minutes to be completely finished changing and on her way downstairs. She was looking through the wide selection of DVD's her family had acquired over the decades when she started singing to herself again. Slightly louder than usual considering she was alone.

Esme: I have died everyday waiting for you, darling don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years, I love you for a thousand more, and all along I believed I would find you, time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years, I love you for a thousand more.

This song reminded her of Carlisle every time she heard it. They would often dance together. She was instantly relaxed and had her guard down just thinking about her wonderful husband. But little did Esme know, someone was watching her.

Vampire: That's a lovely voice you have.

Esme instantly spun around and couldn't help but feel threatened. She tried to look as fierce as she could, considering she was wearing fuzzy purple slippers, as she saw a tall, dark, shadowy man standing in living room. He was a vampire, but he was evil. She could see it in his eyes.

Esme: Who are you?

He laughed to himself. A deep, dark, untrustworthy laugh.

Vampire: Relax darling. I'm just passing through. I just happened to pick up on your scent and figured I would introduce myself. It's not often I run into my own kind.

Esme didn't like the fact that he just called her darling. That was the first red flag. No, the first red flag was that there was an unknown vampire standing in the living room 15 feet away from her and she didn't know why.

Esme: Forgive me, but you entering my house without permission is unacceptable and I'm going to have to ask you to please leave.

Again he laughed to himself.

Vampire: Well, I'm actually not quite ready to leave. There's something I've been wanting to do.

Esme: What's that?

Vampire: Take a wild guess.

Without warning he lunged toward her. She defensively tried to block the impact, but was quickly overpowered as his ice cold fist colliding directly into her jaw sending her flying across the room and slamming into a wall. She stumbled up and was prepared to fight back and defend herself from this unknown intruder. But out if nowhere, she couldn't move. She felt so helpless. Her entire body felt like she had no control over it. And last thing she remembers is seeing him walk towards her with a sly grin on his face as he leaned down and roughly kissed her directly on the lips and allowed his hands to roam freely around her body. She knew what was going to happen. She just knew. And despite not being able to move, she could see, hear, and feel everything. She felt him pick her up and take her to her bedroom. She felt him roughly climb on top of her. She felt the pain Rosalie had once endured many years ago. She felt violated. She felt him as he began to rape her. If only she could fight back. She would have if she could, but whatever special ability he had, he was using it to his advantage.

It felt like hours before he had finished and had gotten ready to leave. She still couldn't move.

Vampire: That was great doll. What did you think?

He laughed, knowing very well she couldn't move but could clearly hear him.

Vampire: Yeah, I figured. Well... I've got to get going. Ill see later lovely.

He winked as he began to walk out if the room.

Vampire: Oh, you should be able to start moving again in an hour or two. Okay?

He nodded as he vanished from the house. From the area. From Forks. She could no longer sense he was anywhere even remotely close to Forks now.

It had been more that two hours since he left. It had practically been a whole day. Esme knew she could move again, but she just didn't want to. Not even for the phone that had buzzed many times since she's been laying there. She didn't care who it was. She just needed to be left alone. She had been crying for hours. Well, the vampire version of crying. Venom tears streaked down her checks and started trying to heal the visible infractions on her face. If only they could heal the ones on the rest of her body. She was sure there were cracks everywhere, along with other unwanted markings. A small pool of venom had formed between her legs because of the violence and roughness he had forced upon her. There was no doubt she wouldn't be able to hide this. She could try, but it would be nearly impossible with Alice and Edward in the house. Oh god. What if Alice had already seen? Would she tell the others? Would she call Carlisle? Carlisle? Would he ever look at her the same? She had to at least pretend they didn't know until she knew if they actually did or not. Because if they didn't, she wasn't going to put herself through the embarrassment of telling them. So she slowly stood up and collected herself. She had 18 hours before the kids got back. She could make herself look presentable by then. She went into her bathroom and began to take a shower , a LONG shower. She scrubbed every inch if her body, twice. After she was done, he realized she now only had 15 hours before the kids got back. That's still plenty if time. She got dressed in a nice dress, despite how dirty she still felt, and did her hair and makeup. To anyone else, she probably looked like the same Esme they always see. But she felt different. She knew it would eventually show, but she was more worried about what's happening right now. She had finished just in time to hear someone approach the door. She instantly felt a wave of panic and fear sweep across her, but it was quickly sidelined as the smell of wet dog pierced her nostrils. It was probably Jacob looking for Nessie. She was down at the door only seconds after the doorbell had rang. It was indeed Jacob. She wondered if her would notice that she was on edge. They gave each other weak smiles as she opened the door and motioned for him to come in.

Esme: Hello Jacob

Jacob: Esme. How are you?

Esme swallowed her true feelings and lied.

Esme: I'm fine. How have you been Jacob? I haven't seen you in a while.

Jacob: Eh, can't complain.

Esme: So what brings you here?

Jacob: Uh, I was hoping to tell you all together but I guess not. Sam and Paul were in the woods last night and they picked up the scent of a vampire on our land. Now before you get upset, you should know that they made sure it wasn't any of your family members, but they did kill him. Did you know who he was? Sam and Paul said he came from this direction.

Esme visibly started lightly shaking, which she knew Jacob didn't miss. She was silent for longer than she thought.

Jacob: Esme?

Esme snapped back into reality when she heard Jacob say her name.

Esme: What?

Jacob: Are you okay?

Esme was still unknowingly shaking and getting more nervous by the second. Jacob became more uneasy as he was not used to seeing the usually so elegant woman in such a fragile state.

Jacob: Esme?

He touched her arm, but without warning she flinched away kind of violently, but I don't think she knew just how scared she looked.

Esme: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Jacob, I don't know what's gotten into me. I've just been-

Jacob: Esme? Did that other bloodsucker come here?

Esme: What? No, no. No one came here.

Jacob: Esme, why are you shaking?

Esme: I-I'm just...

Jacob was suddenly boiling with anger as Esme had realized Jacob knew that something happened between her and that vampire.

Jacob: What did he do to you?

Esme: He-he- nothing. Nothing happened. It's not a big deal.

Jacob: Esme, please don't lie to me.

Esme was full of confusion, anger, shame, embarrassment, pressure. All of these emotions flooding into her brain at once as Jacob starting digging for the truth, which she knew he would eventually find out.

She finally broke down. She couldn't hold it in any longer. She might as well have been crying.

Esme: It was my fault. I should have protected myself.

Jacob: Esme, what did the bastard do?

Esme signed in shame.

Esme: He broke into the house.

Jacob: Is that all?

Esme: No, but just to be clear he's dead? Sam and Paul killed him?

Jacob: Yeah, he's gone and he's never coming back. If he did something to you will you please tell me.

Esme: Jacob, id really rather not.

Jacob: Your silence tells me everything I need to know.

Esme: Jacob-

Jacob: Esme, did that guy attack you?

Esme nodded embarrassed.

Jacob: Did he...violate you? In any way?

Esme nodded again. Still her face full of shame and humiliation. But to her surprise, Jacob envelopes her in a comforting hug. This caught Esme completely off guard. She needed it though.

Jacob was starting to make me feel better already.


	2. Chapter 2

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence Esme and Jacob went and sat down in the living room. He wasn't used to seeing her so look so broken. She was just staring off into space, completely zoned out. If a meteor crashed through the roof she probably wouldn't have noticed. But Jacob had to say something...anything.

Jacob: Esme...

She didn't notice the first time.

Jacob: Esme?

She snapped out of her thoughts and looked directly at him, still looking very sullen.

Jacob: Esme, can you tell me what I can do?

She was silent for a while, not knowing what to say. He though she was just ignoring him.

Jacob: Esme.

Esme: Jacob I don't want the rest if my family to find out about this.

Jacob took a minute to think about what to say.

Jacob: Uh...okay. If-if that's what you want-

Esme: That's what I want.

Her voice sounded so small. Jacob was at a loss for words. He knew he should tell someone, but he respected that Esme wanted this to be kept private. He understood that. But how could she live with something like this eating away inside her and not tell anyone. She wouldn't have even told me if I hadn't figured it out. He was about to try and convince her to reconsider whether or not she wanted to tell anyone when she leaned over to him in the sofa and hugged him. She wasn't looking for a lecture or to be badgered, she was looking for comfort. And if that's all he could do for the woman that graciously accepted him into her family with no questions, then he would do it. He gently wrapped his arms around her, but he did it slowly as to not upset her buy any rough or unwanted movements. It was barley noticeable, but she was sniffling. She was 'crying'. Okay, it's official. Jacob officially felt horrible. Seeing Esme cry is like watching your dog get hit by a car. It's unbearable and you would do anything to stop it.

Jacob: Esme, you do know that none of this was your fault.

Esme: Don't say that.

Jacob: You don't really believe you deserved this do you?

Esme: I should have been able to protect myself. I'm more than capable and I didn't do anything.

Jacob: Didn't or couldn't?

Esme: Is their a difference? He got what he wanted.

Esme was now starting to get angry and got up off the couch and started walking towards the door.

Esme: You can leave now.

Jacob: Please don't do this. I'm trying to help you. I don't want to see this destroy you.

Esme: Jacob, please leave.

Her voice low and menacing as she opened the door and motioned for him to exit. Jacob obliged and walked out the door only to turn around with one last plea.

Jacob: Look, if you ever need somebody to talk to, I'm always here.

Esme: I'll keep that I'm mind.

She shut the door and walked away as Jacob still stands there, watching her briskly walk away.


	3. Chapter 3

Esme was in her room when Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett returned from their hunting trip. She was worried maybe Alice had a vision, but didn't want to say anything until she knew for sure. Esme knew she needed to go down stairs and greet her children before they got worried, so she plastered on a fake smile and walked out of her bedroom and down into the living room where all four teenagers sat. They were obviously having a pleasant conversation because they were all smiling when they turned to look at her.

Alice: Hi Esme.

She sounded genuinely happy, so I doubt she had any kind assumption of the events that took place here this weekend. I smiled warmly at them all.

Esme: Hi. How was your trip?

Emmett: Eh, the usual. Slaughtering Bambi and his relatives.

Esme couldn't help but laugh. Emmett always had a sick sense of humor like that.

Esme: That's lovely Emmett.

Rosalie: What about you?

Esme: What?

Rosalie: Did you enjoy your weekend?

Alice: Yeah, what did you do?

Esme: Uh, not much. You know, this and that. Boring stuff.

Alice: Oh, okay.

They all seemed to accept my answer as they all went back to their conversations with each other and I went back upstairs to see if I was as visibly nervous as I felt. I walked into my bedroom and took a deep breath.

Just breath Esme. Calm down. Nothing even happened and your freaking out.

With that I took one more deep breath and walked over and sat down on the edge of my bed. You would think that being in the room and sitting on the bed where all of these terrible memories happened would upset me, but it didn't for some reason. It just didn't. Maybe because it reminded me too much of Carlisle to slander it with the thought of being dirty. Carlisle. I missed him. I wish he was here to hold me and give me the comfort I need without actually knowing why. I appreciated Jacob trying to help me I really did, but I thinks it's just to soon for me to be making any rational decisions right now and I should take a few days to think about it and get my thoughts together. But first, I should apologize to Jacob. He was only trying to help me and I was horribly rude to him and made him leave my home. It was only a little while ago, but I already felt bad about it. So before I could be questioned by any of my children I abruptly left the house and swiftly ran to the wolf pack lands. It didn't take me very long, and once I got to the little red house I immediately spotted Jacob. We just stared at each other for a minute before he motioned for me to come over. I complied and walked over to him at human speed and made direct eye contact with him as I spoke.

Esme: Jacob I'm so sorry about how rude I was earlier.

Jacob: Hey, don't even worry about it.

Esme: Really, I shouldn't have snapped on you like that. You were only trying to help.

Jacob: But you said no and I kept pushing.

Esme motioned her was towards the ground as if saying she was giving into something.

Esme: Jacob, I'm reconsidering telling Carlisle. Or...at least someone.

Jacob's face looked like a mixture of relief and admiration.

Jacob: Good...I'm glad.

Esme: I figured you would be.

There was now a few seconds of awkward silence between the two before Esme spoke up.

Esme: Jabob?

Jacob: Yeah?

Esme: Can you be there when I tell him? Not in the same room, but close by incase he doesn't take it well and I just need someone.

Jacob: Of course.

Esme smiled a great full smile as they began to walk at human speed back to the Cullen Residence.


	4. Chapter 4

Jacob and I were walking back to my house at human speed just talking to each other.

Jacob: So what made you change your mind?

Esme thought for a minute.

Esme: I don't know. I guess I just can't lie to him. And I know he'll find out eventually anyway, so he might as well find out from me now instead of someone else later.

Jacob: I really do think your doing the right thing Esme.

Esme: I know you do.

There was silence for a few minutes between the two before Esme stopped and looked directly at Jacob.

Esme: Jacob, I never thanked you. For everything you've done for me, and putting up with me even though I'm sure I've been a nightmare. I just wanted to make sure you know how grateful I am that you've been there.

Jacob smiled a warm smile.

Jacob: Well what did you expect. You treat me like I'm part of the family, you did even before I imprinted on Ness. I'm just sorry I wasn't around to stop what happened to you altogether. No one, especially you, deserves that. And believe me, if Sam and Paul knew what he had done before they killed him, they probably would have invited Carlisle over and taken turns torturing that piece of crap to death.

Esme: Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. Carlisle getting so angry he just loses it.

Jacob: Has that ever happened before?

Esme: Carlisle and I have been married for almost 80 years, and I've only seen him get angry a handful of times. But when he does it always been because of something that's happened to one of us in the family.

Jacob: Then it probably is better that you tell him now rather than later.

Esme nodded, still looking nervous as they started walking towards the house again.

Jacob: So, uh...have you been okay? you know, emotionally?

Esme hesitated for a minute and sighed.

Esme: Honestly, no.

Jacob: Oh. Ummm, is there anything I can do to help you?

Esme: No, you've already helped me enough by just being here. The rest I think is just gonna take time. I know that sounds stupid, the whole " I need time to heal " thing.

Jacob: Esme, there's nothing stupid about needing time to heal. You were...raped.

It hurt Jacob to say it, almost as much as it hurt Esme to hear it.

Jacob: Some woman never recover from that. And you've made so much progress already! Your not afraid to go into your bedroom, your outside if the house, your not afraid if being alone with me, and most importantly your starting to accept what happened. That proves how string you are. The next step after that is being able to live with it.

Esme smiled at the comment about her being strong. She was used to Emmett and Bella being the physically strong ones in the house, and she was used to being the motherly, affectionate peacemaker. She had been told on more than one occasion that she and Carlisle were the glue that held the entire family together.

Esme: Thank you Jacob. I don't know how Edward never saw what Bella see's in you. Behind the big scary wolf, there's a very understanding, affectionate, wonderful young man who would do anything for the people he cares about.

Esme could almost swear she saw Jacob start blushing and he started smiling from ear to ear.

Jacob: Sorry, I'm just not used to people saying NICE things about me and I always find it really flattering.

Esme couldn't help but laugh at how boyish and adorable Jacob looked when he received a compliment.

Out of nowhere, Jacob started laughing louder. Esme, still giggling, looked at him smiling.

Esme: What?

Jacob's laughter quieted down but didn't stop.

Jacob: Your have the most adorable laugh I've ever heard in my entire life.

Esme: What's so funny about it?

Jacob: Nothing! It's just adorable considering your a grown woman.

Esme: Are you saying I have a little girls laugh?

Jacob: No, I'm just saying when you laugh it's impossible not to be happy.

Esme couldn't help but smile a genuine smile. That is such a sweet thing to say.

Esme: Aw, thank you.

Jacob: I didn't mean that in a creepy way! You do know that right?!

Esme was caught off guard with that. She didn't think Jacob intended to say it in a creepy way...which was why she burst out into hysterical laughter. She stopped and put her hand over her mouth as she looked at Jacob and laughed.

Esme: Jacob if course I know you didn't mean it in a creepy way. I'm old enough to be your mother.

Jacob: Okay, just making sure. I thought about it and I realized you could have I interpreted what I said into something totally inappropriate for me to say.

Esme was was still kind of laughing and she smiled and started walking with Jacob again.

Esme: It's fine Jacob, I know what you meant.

Jacob: Alright...and by the way, technically your only 10 years older than me. WAY to young to be my mother.

Esme chuckled again.

Esme: Thank you Jacob, but your thinking vampire years.

Jacob: Yeah, in human years you'd be over 100!

Esme's smiles and laughter quickly disappeared faster than they started and she looked as if she was suddenly filled with anger and sadness. Jacob sensed this immediately.

Esme: I probably wouldn't have even made it to 30.

Jacob: I'm sorry, is it something I said.

Esme: No, no it's not you. It just reminded me of my human life.

Jacob: Esme, feel free to tell me to go to hell but I've never heard the story of why Carlisle changed you. I know everyone else's because I spend more time with them, but they never talk about yours. If you don't feel comfortable telling me you don't have to.

Esme: No, that's okay. But my story doesn't have a happy ending...but which one of ours does?

Esme took a deep breath and continued to speak.

Esme: Jacob I want you to know this is really hard for me to talk about, so please be patient with me if it takes a while for the whole story to come out.

Jacob just nodded his head respectfully, allowing her to continue as she explained everything. How In Esme's human life, she was married to Charles Evenson. All of her friends had already married, and her parents encouraged her to marry Charles, who was a family friend and had good prospects. She agreed to the marriage only to please her father.

He was abusive, however, and shortly before her suicide attempt Esme, then pregnant, ran away from him. The baby died soon after birth and Esme jumped off a cliff in an attempt to end her life. Her body was taken to the hospital morgue though her heart was still beating, and Carlisle Cullen found her and turned her into a vampire.

Jacobs heart broke for her when he heard her story. Now he understood why no one would ever talk about it. It's just not something you talk about.

Now Esme was upset again, but thankfully they could see the house in the distance and would be there in a matter if minutes.

Jacob: Esme I'm so sorry.

Esme: Thank you. Don't worry, when Edward rebelled against Carlisle and I and started drinking human blood, Charles was the first man he killed.

She said this still obviously upset, but with a slight smirk on her face.

She then looked nervous and tense.

Esme: Carlisle's home.

Jacob put a reassuring hand in her shoulder and offered her a comforting smile as they both walked out if the woods and stood in front of the timeless house. Esme was obviously not ready to go in, but he knew what she was thinking. If she didn't know now, she wouldn't do it at all, so with one last reassuring smile Esme walked up the stairs and into the house, glancing back at me for a split second as if begging me to come with her. But id be here. I wasn't going anywhere.

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Hey guys, thank you for all of the great comments. I just wanted to be clear that there is NO romance that is going to happen between Esme and Jacob. So if that's what your looking for, I'm sorry it's just not going to happen. Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW! I'd live to hear everyone's feedback so I know whether or not to continue. Thanks :)


	5. Chapter 5

Esme walked into her up the stairs and into her home to find the kids in the exact same place they were when she had left, the only exception being Edward, Bella and Nessie were sitting with them.

I tried not to look worried so Edward wouldn't start digging through my mind.

Esme: Alice, where's Carlisle?

Alice: He's upstairs in his study.

Esme smiled and nodded ass she walked upstairs. She walked into her bedroom first to relax for a minute. It was now very obvious she was nervous. In her bedroom she was pacing back and forth next to the bed, thinking about what to say and how to say it. Does she just blurt it out? Does she slowly explain everything? It's not like she does this all the time, she had no idea what the hell to say!

Okay, okay. She had to find him now. She knew she had to have been pacing for at least 15 minutes. And she still didn't know what she was going to say. Oh well. She had to do it now before she chickened out. So she straightens her skirt, heightened her posture, and started walking towards Carlisle's study. She approached slowly and stood in the doorway for a minute. He was reading a book and taking notes. She stood there, just admiring his beauty. She couldn't believe she had been so lucky as to find a man as wonderful as Carlisle. He saved her life and her soul. Before she could say anything, he looked up at her and smiled.

Carlisle: Esme. Darling, where have you been? I thought you would be here when I got home.

He stood up and gave her a kiss on the cheek, she flinched back a little but nothing that was noticeable to Carlisle.

Esme: Uh, I was out hunting and I ran I to Jacob and we just got taking.

Carlisle: Oh. That sounds nice. Alice said you had to talk to me?

Esme got a look if confusion on her face.

Esme: What? When? Did she tell you what about?

Carlisle: Esme calm down. No, she just told me you were on your way home and were going to want to talk to me.

Esme: Yeah. I do.

Esme took a deep breath. Followed by another deep breath.

Esme: Carlisle, what I'm about to tell you isn't going to be easy for me to say. And it isn't going to be easy for you to hear.

Carlisle suddenly looked very concerned and worried.

Carlisle: What is it?

Esme: Something happened while you were gone, and it's been really hard for me to decide whether or not I wanted you to know.

Carlisle took her hand and held it in between his.

Carlisle: Honey, whatever it is you can tell me.

Esme took one last deep breath before starting the walk down a long road. She knew once she said this, things would never be the same.

Esme: I was raped.

Those three words hit him like a thousand bullets. He didn't even know how to respond, what to say. He just knew that when Esme said she was considering not telling him, she was serious. She was just sitting here in front of me looking mortified, like she would rather be anywhere else in the world than having this conversation.

Esme: Carlisle?

I snapped out of my thoughts and realized I had been silent and trapped in my own thoughts for quite some time. He had to be strong for his wife. He cleared his throat and began to speak.

Carlisle: What can I do to help you?

Esme laughed a little. Carlisle gave her a confused look before she jumped up and have him a hug a she started to cry.

Esme: Thank you.

Carlisle: For what?

Esme: For wanting to help me instead of being angry.

Carlisle: I could never be angry with you.

Esme: I just feel so dirty and used, I thought that's what you would think of whenever you see me.

Carlisle: Esme, I love you more than life itself. To me you will always be beautiful and perfect. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing.

Esme smiled as they embraced in a deep kiss followed by a long seemingly never ending hug.

Carlisle: Have you told anyone else?

Esme: Jacob knows. He came over yesterday to tell me Sam and Paul killed an unknown vampire that crossed over onto their land. He's been helping me.

Carlisle: Ill have to give my sincerest regards to Jacob.

Esme: I haven't told anyone else. I know it's only a matter if time before Edward and Alice find out if they don't know already.

Carlisle: Even if they do, I'm sure they'll keep it to themselves until we talk to them.

A few minutes passed.

Carlisle: Do you want to talk about it?

Esme: Not tonight.

Carlisle: Okay darling. Do you want to go lay down and relax?

Esme: Yeah, ill go lay down in a minute.

With that Carlisle watched her walk out of the room as he started gathering his things to put them away and comfort his wife.

Esme walked over to a large window on the third floor of et spectacular house and looked down towards the trees. She saw Jacob in his wolf formation waiting as he promised. She gave him a nod saying thank you. He did the same thing and ran off into the wood. Esme could hear the howling in the distance.

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	6. Chapter 6

Esme lay in her bed silently. She could hear the wind whistling in the trees, the laughter of her children, and Carlisle's footsteps coming towards the bedroom. He sat on his side of the bed and gently laid down. Esme was facing away from him. She could tell by his slow movements he was debating on whether or not to touch her. She turned around to face him and turned into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. Cuddling was one if the best things in the world, especially if she was sad. His gentle embrace gave Esme the strength to let her guard down, something she hadn't done in two days. Something she hadn't done since the night she was raped. All if these thoughts flooded her mind and that terrible feeling in the put if her stomach and the lump in her throat was once again there. Carlisle sensed she was beginning to feel uneasy.

Carlisle: I'm here for you whenever your ready to talk. You know it's not healthy to keep things like this bottled up inside.

Esme: I know.

That's was all she said. Carlisle sighed. He didn't think he was ever going to get her to open up and tell him what happened, but she finally did.

Esme: This is really hard for me.

Carlisle: I know. It's hard for everyone.

Esme: Yeah, but the part that's been the hardest so far has been trying to tell you.

Carlisle: Why?

Esme: I don't know. I guess I feel like this would somehow impact the way we feel about each other.

Yes I know you love me and I know that's never going to change but I feel like everything that happened us my fault...like I brought this on myself.

Carlisle looked like she had slapped him across the face.

Carlisle: The only person to blame is the sorry bastard who did this. He's lucky the wolves got to him first because if I had gotten my hands on him-

Esme smiled.

Esme: I know. I can only imagine what you would have done, and I appreciate how protective you are of me. Your were the first man ever who treated me like a human being instead of property.

Carlisle chuckled at the phrase "human being" Esme did too.

Esme: You know what I mean.

Carlisle: Yes I do.

Esme: But when he was here he did something to me- I don't even know what it was but he made it so that I couldn't fight back.

Carlisle: Do you think he got into your mind?

Esme: No, I knew exactly what was happening but it was like I just couldn't move my body. And you want to know what the worst part was...the entire time, the only thing I could think if was my marriage to Charles.

Carlisle looked sympathetic. He knew Esme's worst fears and memories all come from that one man.

Esme: Not being able to fight back reminded me if when I was a human and Charles would hit me and beat me and-I wasn't strong enough to do anything about it.

I was to weak. And that night I felt like I was back in that position of complete powerlessness. But I should have been able to protect myself!

Carlisle: Esme, if he used his ability to keep you from fighting there was nothing you could do. You know how strong certain gifts can be.

Esme: Yeah. I just never thought I would have to feel like that ever again.

Carlisle: Darling, you saying that is like me saying I should have been here to protect you.

Esme: You couldn't have known. There's no way-

She suddenly realized.

Esme: Okay, I see your point.

Carlisle looked her directly in the eye.

Carlisle: Now you need to stop blaming yourself, because no matter what this will NEVER be your fault.

Esme nodded.

Carlisle: Have you given any thought to whether or not you want to tell the children?

Esme sighed. She knew this was coming.

Esme: I think I should. Like I said, I know there eventually going to find out anyway.

Carlisle: If you don't want them to know you don't have to tell them. I see where your coming from but ultimately it's up to you.

Esme: I'm going to tell them. I think they deserve to know. With the exception of Renesmee. I don't think she would understand.

Carlisle: I think your right. When do you want to do it? It's very rare there all in the same room together like they are now.

Esme: Ill do it in a few minutes. Are you going to take Nessie somewhere?

Carlisle: I was going to, unless you want me to be there. We could always take her to Charlie's.

Esme: No, you to should spend some time together anyway. She loves you, you should take her somewhere.

Carlisle: Okay honey, I will.


	7. Chapter 7

Edward, Alice and Jasper were all gathered in Edwards bedroom in the Cullen house.

Jasper: Do you think she knows we know?

Edward: She suspects, but she doesn't want to say anything incase we don't. Alice, what else did you see in your vision?

Alice: I saw Esme in the living room, and then someone threw her up against the wall. The next thing I saw was her upstairs on her bed crying.

Edward: So maybe it's not what we think.

Edwards voice sounded hopeful.

Jasper: I don't think so Edward. I could sense her distress before we even walked in the house.

Alice: She didn't want to tell us at all but she thinks she owes it to us.

Edward: We should ask Jacob.

Alice: Why?

Edward: Because he knows. Either she told him or he figured it out but he knows.

Jasper: How do you know?

Edward: Esme just reminded herself to thank him. He was probably here to comfort her after it happened.

Alice: Jasper, how's Carlisle feeling?

Jasper stood there for a minute trying to sense Carlisle.

Jasper: He's very angry, but that's taken a back seat to wanting to help Esme. He feels guilty.

Edward: Should we tell the others so she doesn't have to? That all she's been thinking about.

Alice: We don't know how there going to react hearing it from us. But I think we all know there going to be out for blood.

Jasper: There going to want to know why we didn't tell them when we found out.

Edward: Then well tell them the truth, because we knew Esme didn't even wasn't us knowing. And either way it's not our place to tell.

Jasper: It would be just that much easier on Esme if she didn't have to go through the stress of telling everyone, even though half of us already know.

Alice: Then why don't we tell Esme what we know and she can just tell us what she wants us to do. Remember, she needs support and comfort right now.

Jasper: I think your right. We should tell Esme first.

Edward: Alright.

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	8. Chapter 8

Carlisle and Esme lay on their bed quietly just enjoying each others presence when they heard a light knock in the door. Carlisle looked over at Esme.

Carlisle: Are you okay with seeing some if the children now?

Esme nodded.

Esme: Yes. Come in.

She softly called. The door slowly slid open and in came Alice, Jasper and Edward. They all cautiously approached the bed after shutting the door behind them.

Esme could see a mixture of nervousness and guilt spread across all there faces. Just then it felt like her stomach did a somersault.

Oh my god. They knew...they ALL knew. Esme suddenly felt embarrassed and full of shame as her three children stared at her with pity in there eyes.

Little did she know they were all communicating with each other.

Jasper's Thoughts to Edward: She's nervous and guilty. She's starting to tense up.

Edward nodded and looked to Alice.

Alice: She already told Carlisle.

Edward already knew that, but nodded anyway.

Alice sat in the bed across from Esme as Edward and Jasper stood at the foot if the bed. There was eerie silence in the room and Alice was struggling to speak.

Alice: E-Esme, w-we uh, well I s-saw

Esme: You saw what happened?

Alice nodded shamefully.

Alice: I saw parts of it. But it wasn't hard to fill in the blanks.

Esme scoffed as if she were about to cry.

Esme: I take it all three of you know?

Edward and Jasper looked at each other and then back to Esme

Edward: Yes.

She nodded taking all if this in.

Edward: Esme we respected the fact that you didn't want anyone to know because of how embarrassed and ashamed you are, but we figured it would be easier on you telling the others if some if us already knew.

Esme: I don't feel embarrassed and ashamed.

She said rather quietly looking down at the floor.

Jasper: Esme, I've haven't felt this much distress and pain since Edward thought Bella was dead.

Edward turned his was away at the unpleasant thought. But that was he needed to really know just how much pain Esme was is.

Esme: I'm trying to deal with it, but stressing over whether or not to tell you guys is probably where a lot of those emotions are coming from.

Alice: Why Esme? You can tell us anything you know that right?

Esme: Yes honey of course I do. I respect you all too much to lie to you, not like I could ever pull that off even if I wanted to, but I guess I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm a vampire and I couldn't protect myself.

She was starting to visibly get upset now. Carlisle scooted closer to her on the bed and put his arm around her pulling her slightly into him.

Carlisle's Thoughts: Edward, I keep telling her it not her fault and not to blame herself but she thinks she deserve it because she couldn't protect herself.

Edward: Esme you can't possibly think what happened was your fault.

Esme just looked down at the floor. Edward knew how to convince her otherwise.

Edward: Esme, do you remember when Rosalie first went through her transformation?

Esme: Of course.

Edward: She was changed because she was...raped. Do you remember the violent outbursts and screaming that she did, months after it happened? I do. Because she was blaming herself. She kept thinking about all of the things she could have done different. She's better now, but there's always going to be a piece of her heart that's never going to heal because she never believe you any of the hundreds if times you told her it wasn't her fault. You told her the only person who's fault it was was Royce King and his drunken friends. Well it's the same thing here Esme, you can't blame yourself for something you had no control over. And I hope that you know we are all here for you to help and support you with whatever you need.

Esme smiled and her eyes filled with tears as she got up and embraces her eldest son in a heartwarming hug. She then motioned for Alice, Jasper and Carlisle to come join her. They did as she asked and for the first time in almost three days, Esme felt happy. After a few more seconds they broke apart and went back to there original positions: Esme, Carlisle and Alice on the bed, and Edward and Jasper standing at the foot if the bed.

Esme: Thank you all so much for trying to make this as easy as possible.

Jasper: Is there anything we wouldn't do for you?

Esme giggled.

Esme: I'll remember that next time I need help cleaning the house.

They all laughed. It was nice. After Esme stopped the others continued to laugh, but she didn't know why. She smiled and looked at them.

Esme: What?

Jasper: See, I told you we would have to tell her eventually.

Esme: Tell me what?

Alice smiled, sighed and looked at her.

Alice: We've all kind if had our own private joke about your laugh.

Esme: What's wrong with my laugh?!

Alice: Nothing, nothing! It just super adorable.

Esme: Huh, that's funny. Jacob said the exact same thing.

Edward: It's nothing personal, not even Nessie has a laugh as cute as yours.

Carlisle: Yeah sweetheart. You should take this as a compliment.

Esme shrugged and smiled again.

Esme: How can I not?

Alice: Exactly!

Alice practically shrieked.

Alice: But wait-wait. Before we get side tracked, you said Jacob? He knows?

Esme nodded.

Esme: Yeah, he came over to the house the day after it happened...basically to tell me Sam and Paul killed the vampire who attacked me. Apparently he was unknowingly on Quilette land.

Edward: And you told him?

Esme: No, he figured it out.

Jasper: How? If you don't mind me asking.

Esme: Uh, I was stuttering and was jumpy. But I think the dead giveaway was when he tok he's my arm and I flinched away. He said I looked like I was in a panic, or like a wave if fear had just crashed down on me.

Edward: He helped you?

Esme smiled.

Esme: Yeah, he gave me the comfort I needed at the time and kept me from having a mental breakdown.

Carlisle: Edward, you and I will go thank him later?

Edward: Of course. Bella just got home, she took Nessie over to Charlie's. Do you want to go tell the others now?

Esme took a deep breath and nodded.


End file.
